


Crumbling

by morgay



Series: Across Time and Space [9]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Across Time and Space (ATAS), Angst, College!Mulder, Depression, Grief, I could probably rewrite this better and longer but eh, I'm sorry I just really love torturing my characters okay, Mental Breakdown, Short, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Theme: Intro by M83, the angstoholic is back, you think I'm sober? Thing again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 11:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13763331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgay/pseuds/morgay
Summary: College!Mulder || Mulder can't deal with the grief. He has to find another way out. Pre Across Time and Space (8).





	Crumbling

Everything crumbled beneath Fox Mulder in an instant.

His heart pounded, his body thumping with the rhythm as he stumbled to the ground, choking on whatever breath he had left. His eyes glazed over. His hands shook.

The numbness grasped everything inside him until he was nothing but a walking corpse, void of emotions and lacking the empathy he'd always carried with him.

He crawled into the bathroom with what little strength he had left, gasping as he pulled himself to his knees and stared at the floor. Static deafened his senses and the next thing he knew he'd smashed the mirror, blood dripping down his arms. Mulder didn't feel it. He gasped and ran his bloody fingers through his hair stressfully, coughing as sobs began to rack his body and he fell back to the ground. The tears fell down his cheeks and the memories came rushing back, splitting open his heart and breaking away his mind.

Mulder couldn't take it. He shut the door, staring at his reflection before his eyes flickered down to the razor. He held his breath and picked it up with trembling hands, murmuring, "This is right... this is right..."

He coughed more as he drew the blade against his skin. More tears fell as the physical pain drowned him in waves, causing screams of agony to leave his lips. He collapsed to the tile floor, his mind overcome by shock as he watched the blood seep out of the wounds and drip into a pool. Nausea overcame him and he whirled around, spilling his insides into the toilet. He curled up into a ball, a mess of blood and tears, setting his head on the ground and letting his arms sprawl out in front of him.

Darkness hazed his vision. He choked and wiped his eyes, the crimson liquid smeared on his face as he dug the razor further into his arms. He yelled in agony and kicked with his whole might, knocking over appliances on the counter and feeling the blade connect with the inside of his arm.

"FUCK!"

He cried harder, the visions flashing before his eyes as he pulled himself up with one of his arms, crying out in pain as the other throbbed and went numb. The world became blurry, his whole body giving out.

"Please... g-god... let this kill me..." His voice broke, the helpless male not even having the strength to reach for the razor. "Please..."

The sides of his sight dampened into shadows, darkness filling everything inside him. He saw the flicker of movement, a crashing sound, and everything faded away before he even knew what was happening.


End file.
